I am a television whore...

It's true...I am, indeed, a television whore. I just can't help myself. More than anything else, it's what I do when I come home from work while I'm eating supper and then until I go to bed: I plop myself in front of the television and zone out for several hours. The sad thing is, we don't even have cable. And no matter how unmeriting the lineup for the night is, I still watch because I can't bring myself to do anything else. I'm pretty sure I watch more than any of my roommates, even though we share some shows and enjoy watching them together. How sad am I? And I don't know how I became to be this way...perhaps it was deprivation as a child, though I know I watched a fair amount then, too. But I was, it seems, alot busier at night, with chores and whatnot. Dude, I so need to find an organization or activity to get myself involved in. To my credit, I think, I really like watching TV news, especially the Today show in the mornings while eating breakfast before I go to work. I take some kind of simple joy from getting the latest headlines while sitting cross-legged on our couch that is so fulfilling. My roommates have even noticed it.

On about the news and the media in general....
I'm sick of hearing people complain about the liberal media only reporting negative things. A) We do the best we can. But more importantly, B) If we don't hear about the bad things going on in the world, how are we supposed to fix them???? Huh? Sure, it's great to hear about the good things that are happening in the world, but if we don't report on coruption, crime and the like, we are only allowing those things to continue to florish and that is unacceptable. So, I don't mind hearing if the world is going to hell. As citizens, it's our responsibility to right it and we need to know what needs fixing. I realize one person can't change the world, but even the little every day things can help. I highly recommend "Soul of a Citizen" by Paul Rogat Loeb for inspiration to that end.

I ought to go... Top Model, AmIdol and Lost are on tonight...hehehe.

further social incompetence...

It's no secret that I'm socially awkward. Before I started my job and knew no one at my company other than my bosses, and then only from interviews, I didn't know whether the workplace would prove a fountain of friendship or not. It turned out that there are a number of 20-something single women in my office. The problem is that, while some of them work on the same publications I do, none of them are on the editorial side. Not a one. Mostly being production/art people, they've sort of inadvertantly formed their own clique. They all sit at a long table in the lunchroom while eating and watching Passions and giving a running commentary on what's going on. They all seem to be like nice people, but they're sort of intimidating. They have invited (and I've gone) me on a couple of outings. I would like to get to know them better, but I think I feel like I'd be butting in. So now, I look like a loner at work, sort of, and I can't figure out a non-awkward way to become more involved. Because even if this distance is part of the system, it doesn't have to be. I would like work to be a source of friends...people I can go out and hang out with if the mood strikes.

I don't want to grow up...

Sigh...it's been sort of an odd weekend and beginning of the week. I've spent alot of time in my head. What tipped it off, for the most part, was going to a bridal shower Saturday. I knew the groom before the bride, so I don't know her as well. MA was the only other person I knew there, the rest were all her and his friends. They were really nice and friendly, but the youngest one was like 25 (granted, that's only 2 years older than me) and they were ALL married and half of them either had a child under one year or were expecting. I love babies and expectant mothers and all that, but this was sort of overwhelming for me. I've never been around that many young married women before, I don't think. Just being around all that brings out a huge jealousy complex in me and makes me think how far I am from that. And I DON'T want to feel that way. I hate that society makes me feel that I'm behind becasue I've never been in a serious relationship and don't have any prospects on the horizon. Because, on alot of levels, I'm completely happy with where I'm at in life and have no desire to change my status. I enjoy having the freedom to go and do whatever I want whenever I want and not having to schedule around a boyfriend or be caught up in his interests or trying to brainstorm excursions or anything like that. Of course, I want to be in a relationship at some point...I just don't want to feel less (or maybe that I'm missing out) because I'm not. My friends don't say anything to make me feel that way; and I'm sure they don't do anything consciously to make me feel that way, but the little things add up. Add that to society's standards and it stinks. As I get older and more and more of the people I'm around are in relationships and planning weddings and things, it gets harder. I want that part of being a "grown up." Let's go back to the way things used to be.

It's been awhile...

Things have been just crazy lately. There's so much to tell. Now, how much of it I remember remains to be seen.

Thursday night, Robert and I went to the Library and watched some first round NCAA men's basketball action. It's alot more entertaining when there are four games displayed simultaneously and you can pay attention to the ones that are the closest. It was a good night, especially with Gonzaga's win. I'm really enjoying these excursions to the Library and really hope they become like a weekly thing...good stuff.

Friday sucked and then was awesome. (BONUS: I got paid!! Thank God the poor spell is over, at least temporarily). I was working on the news when Neil came to my cube and wanted to have a meeting on my stories. I thought it was sort of rude of him to interupt my news doing, but I followed him. In his office, I told him what little progres I'd managed to eek out and he said, "Don't you know deadline is today?" WTF?? I honestly thought it was next Friday, honestly. Fuck, what do you say to that? I already screwed up last deadline and now here I look like an idiot. How could I be so stupid as to just assume...why didn't I ask? I was and still am so totally disappointed in myself about that. Not that it wasn't done, but that I'd been so dumb. Needless to say, the rest of the day was spent trying to get as much work done as humanly possible. I was able to get 3/5 of my stories done and talked with Neil about how we can get the other two done asap, so I felt good about leaving on time Friday, especially because RENAE WAS COMING!!!!!! One of my co-workers was nice enough to invite me out to St. Paddy's day happy hour. It was much needed, even though I should have been home cleaning my room, but who cares? Who can pass up company bought beer?? While at happy hour, I learned that said coworker, who I knew was older than me, but I think I was figuring like late 20s or something, is acutally 38 years old!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No offense to 38-year-olds or anything, but man!! And this guy is single...there's nothing wrong with being single, but just because I'm so inexperienced in the world, I find it a little creepy that this guy is 38, isn't in any kind of relationship and isn't divorced and is living alone in an apartment building across the street from our office. From what I've heard, it doesn't sound like he gets out and about much, so it's just weird, but I'm sure he has friends.

I got home and, instead of being responsible and clean my room so there was more room for my sister, I opted to be responsible and try and figure out some of my bills. Just as I was finishing up, Renae calls me and says she's stuck in one of our neighbors' driveways!!!!! So I go out to try and help her and the front tires and just spinning and spinning and not going anywhere, so she's in a panic and I'm in a panic because it's like 8 on a Friday night...how are we supposed to figure this out or get help? I push and then try to back it out myself and then she tries again and gets it rocking and I'm yelling at her to keep going but she can't hear me so she stops so I can repeat what I said and then she goes again. Really, we don't do well in crisis situations (and this was a minor one). Luckily, Renae did manage to get it out herself. Praise God!!! After that ordeal, we didn't much feel like puting effort into anything else, like going out for St. Paddy's day with a borrowed ID, so we stayed in and made cocktails and watched more basketball and Anchorman...it was nice.

Saturday, we woke up far too early. Unfortunately, I didn't have any cereal, but I made French toast and it was delicious. We spent the rest of the morning and the early afternoon in Rosedale and I got a bunch of new shirts for work!! Yay for new clothes!! I've decided I really need some more sporty khakis though. I'm down to one pair now and that just isn't going to cut it anymore. We discovered Hollister and I really, really like it. Alot. I just have to drop a couple pounds so I can fit into their clothes. I did try on a tank top that could have worked, but I couldn't really afford to be in the market for cute tanks yet, so it'll have to wait for another day. After Rosedale, we went to see Failure to Launch, which I'd seen already, but it was a matinee and Renae hadn't see it yet, so what the heck. It was still cute the second time around. I think I'll prolly get it on DVD when it comes out...it's just one of those movies that are nice to have around to watch whenever you want. After that, we hit Old Navy and were going to go to Target, but decided not and that was probably a good idea. I hadn't planned what to do that night, but wanted to go out and DO something, so one of my roommates suggested a comedy act, which turned out to be a brilliant idea. We reserved tickets for Comedy Sportz's early show and opted to make some Hamburger Helper for supper, which we ate while watching some more basketball. I thought a half hour would be plenty of time to get to Uptown and get parked and to our show on time, but I was wrong. We were a couple minutes late, but it turned out not to be too big of a deal. Luckily, our tickets were still there waiting for us. The show was incredibly funny. I love improv...alot...and wouldn't mind going to a show there again.

We were walking back to my car when we heard this screaming. I didn't really know what to think of it. It was a screaming like none other I'd ever heard in my life...should I be concerned or is it just someone being dramatic? There were a couple people standing around and I heard sirens, but I thought I saw the police going away from the screaming, so I thought it must have been nothing, so we kept on, opting for the light instead of the dark alley we'd come out of. Good thing, I think. The next night on the news, they said that a woman walking with her family had been robbed peacefully, but after, the robbers shot her son in the face...it was her screams we heard as she held her son's head in her arms. He had been in critical condition, but he died yesterday. I hope that's the closest I ever come to a murder scene in my life. Thank God we made it home safely. Since it was still semi-early, we opted to rent a couple of movies. In Her Shoes is an excellent sister movie. Even if it didn't reflect the relationship I have with Renae, it made me appreciate her more and wish we spent even more time together.

Renae managed to sleep in a bit on Sunday, but I woke up early as ususal. Her air mattress was blocking me getting out of my room at all without distrubing her, so I just did some reading. Luckily, I didn't have to go to the bathroom or anything... No plan for Sunday either, so she ended up coming with me to get groceries. We made it to Target, too, but they didn't have much that interested us. After Subway for lunch and a Shamrock Shake for dessert, she headed home. I wished she could have stayed longer, but we were both tired and it's not like we would've done anything other than hang out. That night, I cleaned my room.

Monday was crazy because I was trying to write two bigger articles and had to do my interviews for them that day. It sucked in that I had to be on top of things all day, but the timing actually worked out incredibly well. My first article really sucks and has been held for the issue and I don't know if it will ever run because it's just that bad. I'm actually sort of proud of the second one, though. I really enjoy doing profiles. I stayed at my office until 6, but knew if I stayed longer, I'd go crazy, so I took it home, which stinks, but getting some food and having some convo with my roommies helped a ton. I got it done, even if it was late. I found out yesterday I didn't necessarily have to have it in by yesterday morning...oh well...I like to put things behind me. Yesterday and today have been relatively unproductive and boring...back to the same old procrastinating routine. This time, though, I'm not waiting around!! I can't afford to fuck up like I did this time.

It was an exhausting four days, so I'm glad for a low key rest of the week. Last night, I had the best conversation with MaryAnne I've had in the longest time. (more on that another time, likely) Even though she's not that far away and it's only temporary, I miss her being closer. Tomorrow, I don't have to go into work until 1 p.m.!!!! Not that there's really anything exciting going on on a Wednesday night or anyone to do it with...I'm probably more excited about the prospect of sleeping in. The downside is that I'll be at work until 9 tomorrow night, will come home and go to sleep right away and have to get up and go right back to work. It should be interesting, if nothing else. Toodles!!

woohoo!!

I am a winner!! Yes, it feels quite nice, thanks. Haha. So at work today (yes, I made it to work just fine, even with the snow) some of my coworkers had organized a benefit for our coworker, Gerri, who has cancer. She's a friendly little lady, always asking how I am whenever I see her. So her benefit was today and they had some good food, people watched some NCAA basketball and there was a raffle. I have no money until I get paid tomorrow, but I figured it would be okay to write out a check, if only for a couple bucks. They had plane tickets and hotel stays and Lake Minnetonka cruises up and stuff, but I didn't want to shell out $5/ticket for something I almost certainly wouldn't win, so I entered for opening day Twins tickets, Etta James tickets (just because Jenny's such a fan) and gas. I sort of figured I probably wouldn't win, just because of the odds, so it was exciting to win and gas is so practical and, at this broke point in my life, such blessing, it was nice. I donated 10 (ten!! what was I thinking?!?!) hours of babysitting. Two other girls I work with donated five between the two of them. My boss Matt, who has the cutest little girl ever, won their hours. Marklund, who does advertising for PSB, got my hours and apparently his kid or kids are relatively rowdy. I'm sort of disappointed, but that's how it goes. It's always good to branch out. Hopefully we get along.

On another note, I think I may have cancer. I probably don't, but I really don't know what to think and can't help but revert to freaking myself out. Here's the deal: last Sunday during Desperate Housewives, my head itched, so I itched it, but it hurt, so I felt around a little bit behind my ear and there was a bump there. I sort of figured it would go away, but after feeling around more, I found another bump. When I was combing my hair, I came across another and there's something going on at the base of my skull or something. The first one or two are sort of itchy, but more than anything, all of them are sore. I can feel them being there even when I haven't touched them in awhile. I can't bend my neck to the left properly. So I've been waiting for Brittany to check them out before I go into too much of a panic, but it's just been so long I can't help myself, but hopefully later tonight she can feel my head and tell me if it's something I should get checked out or if they'll just go away if I have some patience. Hopefully I don't have stage four brain cancer or something.

On a brighter note, my sister is coming up this weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am SO excited. I hope we have fun. I just wish the weekend could be longer. I'm sure we will, but it'd be good if I had more things in mind to do, so she can experience some of the city if she wants. And tomorrow is St. Paddy's day, so we'll have to see if we celebrate at all or not. I'm down with whatever. Yay for sisterly bonding time!!

Ugh....

Sorry I haven't updated in a couple days...Life has been crazy.

I'm such a freak. I am afraid, of all things, of the snow. I'm afraid of the snow!!! How ridiculous is that?? We just had a massive (well, at least for this nearly snowless year) snowstorm Sunday night and Monday morning. In Minneapolis (or maybe it was at the airport) we got 10.5 inches. I got up for work Monday, knowing it was supposed to snowstorm and being a little anxious about it. I got ready for work, but the occasional look outside didn't settle me. The snow was really coming down. To think the ground had been snow free the day before. Watching the news didn't help. Every time they showed the traffic I felt more and more anxietous.

I chickened out; the snow got me. I didn't go to work. Instead I called in, took a nap, did some reading, watched Passions and Starting Over and shoveled. I had to dig out my car because the city declared a snow emergency. See, the thing is, being outside in the snow wasn't bad. In fact, it was almost nice to be outside and getting some work done. It's just the idea of driving in it that freaked me out so much. I'm terrified of snowy weather if I have to drive in it. The whole two months I've been back, only twice before had the weather been moderately scary to deal with during the commute and then there was this huge storm. I felt guilty for not going in to work, but apparently not too many people actually showed up. And watching the news some more and seeing all the accidents that were happening made me feel a lot better about staying home.

Guess what? Apparently there's supposed to be another snowstorm tonight, continuing through tomorrow's morning commute. They've forecasted 4 to 8 inches, less in the north, which is good for me, but I've got to say, I'm not happy about it. I don't want to look ridiculous and not go to work another day this week and I can't particularly afford to burn all my sick days this early in the year. So tonight I'll be praying really hard that it either doesn't snow at all or snows as little as possible, that it will be done before I leave for work, that traffic won't be horrendous, that I will have my wits about me if I do have to drive in the snow, that other drivers will have their wits about them, that the Holy Spirit will stay with me (even though I know it always does, but I'll need the extra protection) and that I get to work and back okay. And here I thought spring had sprung...

to go with the plan or not go with the plan, that is the question...

I'm beginning to chicken out, at least for the first part of the plan. After doing some calculations, I've found that I should have about $200 to use at my discretion every month (that's after taking out all possible regular expenses: rent, bills, groceries, gas, etc..., but no savings because I haven't been since I started in the real world.) I should be saving half of it. I don't think my brain quite gets savings...I'm saving for the future, not just for a rainy day. Really, $100 ought to do me for a month, you would think and I'm hoping I'll be more conscious of how much discretionary money I'm spending in the future. I'm sort of mad at myself for chickening out about the plan. I could use the money, but it turns out I'm not doomed without it, which totally weakens my resolve. Perhaps if I don't get one at 90 days, I will venture the subject. Too bad I can't see my boss right away at one of those times when I'm just so angry about only getting such and so per hour. Okay, so maybe thinking about some aspects of it are raising my ire again. It might be worth it to just go and talk to Matt about it casually and see what he has to say. In a preliminary search yesterday, it appears bartending or something in that vein, would be my best option for a second/weekend job. It could be interesting, but I'm not necessarily sure it's something that would fit me. Then again, you never know unless you try. Man, I wish I weren't such a lazy butt! I wish there was something out there that would really drive me to go for the raise or the second job. Alas, I have no motivation or will power as such...it's the same reason I will never be anorexic. At the same time, if someone presented me with a weekend job opportunity that wasn't stressful and was relatively laid back, I think I could be all over it. Who knows, perhaps if I look hard enough, I might find something that fits perfectly.

I think I don't like shopping??

I decided to go for question marks on the title because the thought perplexes me. Do I not like shopping? Part of me does, but part of me really, really doesn't. I do like to spend money and get new things, but there are lots of things I don't like. Fear not, I did not actually spend any money today, but I did spend the entire afternoon at a very crowded Mall of America with my roommate Liz.

Liz had a ring that a jeweler in the mall had finished resizing, so I said, rather reluctantly, that I'd go with her. Earlier in the day, I'd sort of been in the mood for an adventure of the mall type, but after lazing around for awhile, I'd become, well, more lazy, but to be a good friend, I said I'd go. Of course it wasn't until we were in the car that I contemplated the full implications of my agreeing to going. This is a gray early spring Saturday afternoon and we're on our way to the biggest indoor mall in America. While crowds are okay, I don't find going to the MOA when it's so busy enjoyable. It didn't help that my roommate was complaining about finding a parking spot...it was her idea to go at that hour anyway, what was she expecting? The place was teeming with people, I think more so than any other time I've seen.

The thing about shopping with Liz is that she's kind of an erratic shopper, which can be fine, I suppose, but I really like going in with a plan (although there's always leniency) and doing things in an orderly manner. Since I have no money, I didn't have anything to do at the mall, so Liz had the run of things and kept thinking of places she wanted to visit. We're sort of an odd couple, Liz and I, because our interests are so different. We visited a tea store, a discount shoe retailer, a puzzle store and a shoe store. The thing about the MOA is that it's so huge, no two places you want to visit ever seem close to one another, so we put in a lot of walking. Walking is good, but I am just so freaking slow since my accident. The longer I go, the crankier I get, it seems. That's sort of depressing. The cool thing was that we got to see the Irish dancers in the rotunda. I've seen them there before and they're so cool to watch.

Anyway, I didn't really enjoy myself today because I didn't have any money to spend (although if I'm clothes shopping, that's a whole other depressing ordeal) and there were just so many people there. Another thing about shopping is that there are just so many choices it's overwhelming, especially at the MOA. And of course I want to spend more money than I can and then, there's the depression of spending money when I should be saving as much as I can. I don't think I've ever come away from a shopping experience feeling good about it, because I always either feel terrible about the amount I spent, or I want more stuff because I actually showed some self restraint and didn't spend irresponsibly. I think if I had more money (and probably if I were a bit skinnier, too), I would enjoy shopping a lot more, but I don't necessarily think that would be good for me.

My sister is coming to visit next weekend over the first part of her spring break (which I'm super excited about)...at this point I'm sort of hoping she's not going to want to go to the MOA, but we'll see.

money matters

Accomplishment: I have not written a check or used my check card in just over a week. And I only have $8 in cash. I haven't even gotten gas and won't need to until Monday or Tuesday!! While I've probably done this before and not been paying attention, this is good for me because I have to wait until next Friday for my next paycheck. I didn't know if I would actually be able to do it and, granted, I'm only halfway done, but I'm proud that I at least have this much self control so I don't have to ask anyone for help. (Although one of my roommates was generous enough to pay for some groceries last weekend, but she owed me).

How did I get into this whole mess? My parent's offered some collateral to help me get back on my feet after I came back from my accident, which helped tremendously. After getting a couple of paychecks, I felt like I was doing good. I went to visit my sister, knowing a had a bit of spending money if I so chose and really wanted some new pants and shoes for work. No big deal. But that lead to a week of spending I shouldn't have been doing. I need to learn to balance my checkbook after every transaction and not just once a week. The next time I was balancing, I just wasn't expecting to be in the hole. I thought I might be close, but geez. Luckily, my utilities check wouldn't be picked until after the next paycheck I had. But the day I got my check, I had to leave the utils and rent to be picked up, leaving me with $36 to my name (oh yeah, and the $6 I have in my savings account). Just enough to buy me a tank of gas (not that it matters that I need two).

I was soooo mad at myself, but now I feel a little bit calmer. I haven't had to ask my parents for additional help, nor anybody else, save my roommate. I really need to create a budget for myself, in some ways, but I hate how they seem so restrictive. Maybe they're not, but that's just the way they come across to me. Anyway, if I can make it through one more week, hopefully I'll be okay and can truly get myself back on track and start saving money. This doesn't mean I'm not going to look for more ways to get more dinero for myself though.

Ugh...too dark of a subject for a gorgeous Friday afternoon (not that I can see any sunlight from my cube). But I do know that it's sunny and I'm listening to Lucky Boys Confusion, one of my favorite fun-loving and rebellious bands. Hooray for the weekend!!

sigh...

(Author's note: I wrote this post last night, but it didn't post correctly, so I'm resubmitting it so you can all see what I've been thinking)

So many things seem to be going on right now, even though there's really not that much going on. I've been thinking a lot in the past week and it's been good and bad. Good to stretch those mental muscles, but bad in that I get so worked up about some stuff that it's ridiculous. I'm trying to figure out what I want in life. This is something that I've only just started, but that's okay, I want to do a good job of it so that when I get some ideas, I know it really is what I really want.

I've never really known what I would do after my first "real" job. I think part of me thought I would just stay there forever or something. Don't get me wrong, there are certain aspects of my job I really like, but I KNOW I can't stay there forever. Even before my accident, I struggled a bit with feelings of discontent and now they're still there and becoming more persistent.

There are so many things wrapped up in this: God, my life, my finances, my personality, my talents, my gut feelings, my background, my loyalties, my career, my comfort levels. It's hard to untangle one from another a lot of times. I'm certain I'll go on and on about this in the weeks and months to come, but I've started to develop a plan.

First of all, I don't think I'm being paid what I'm worth. I interned in 2005, had my accident and was home and came back in mid-January 2006, hired full time with benefits (although I still-still!-have to wait the customary 90 days before I'm eligible) and they're paying me at the same rate. And I had to ask them for more than they offered in the first place because I knew it wouldn't be enough and they conceded. I honestly only barely make enough money to pay the bills now. Thank God I don't have a credit card. I cannot afford to pay my car or health insurance, so my parents have been exceedingly generous to do so for the time being, which is saying a lot about how much they love me because they can barely make ends meet themselves (this situation will soon change in that my company will be taking over the health insurance and I have to take on the car insurance). While one could argue the benefits constitute my "raise" I think that's sorry. Them not paying me more makes me feel like they don't value the work I do.

So, the first part of the plan is to ask for a raise (or, really, to become financially stable). Thankfully, my direct supervisor is one of the nicest people I know and over the past six months he's gone to bat for me more times that I'll ever be able to repay him. That he's so nice and has done so much for me already makes me feel awkward about asking him for anything in the first place. This weekend I plan on strategizing how to go about this. My supervisor won't be a problem, I don't think, but HR and/or my publisher could be tricky. If the funds don't exist, there's not exactly anything they can do. But really, they didn't have to pay me for the last three months of the year, so I know they've got some profits hanging around. I think the one thing I'm worried about is timing...will I be shooting myself in the foot for not just waiting one more month? However, I think it would be funny if they would be willing to give me a raise at 90 days, but not when they hired me full time.

If I can get a raise, that's great, first part of the plan will be a success and I will, hopefully, be financially stable for the duration of my stay there. If my attempt at garnering a raise fails, then it's on to plan number 2 (geez, I feel like I should make a chart or something) for financial stability, which is to find a weekend job. Maybe I could wait tables or something? Really, though, I'd much, much, much prefer to work at Barnes and Noble, or better yet, nanny (although good luck finding a position where I'd only be needed weekends). I hope it doesn't come to this, but I really do need the money, despite however much I like doing absolutely nothing on the weekends. Also, I will freak out about the job hunt...it is sooo stressful!

All this makes me sad. I'm so torn between frustration that I'm only barely making it, paycheck to paycheck, even with my best efforts to not spend any money I shouldn't; and feeling like I'm being so incredibly selfish because there are millions, probably billions, of people who are much, much worse off than I am and that if I would just try harder and not spending any unnecessary money, I might be just a bit better off.

Anyway, it's getting late and this post is much longer than I thought it would be. Happy weekend!!

Kirbeeeeeeee Puckeeeeeett!!!

Kirby Puckett died yesterday and it's made me sadder than I thought I would be. Sad that anyone should die at 45, but so much sadder that he was an icon of my youth. I'm not claiming to be a huge baseball fan or even know that much about the sport, but the memories I have of attending Twins games with my family in my childhood are some of the best. And seeing Kirby in action, of course, was always the highlight.
Maybe once a year, for a couple years in a row when I was maybe 7-10 or so, on one special Saturday in the summer, my whole family would work hard to get chores done in the morning and we would pack a big lunch to take with us and make the long drive to the Metrodome. Having driven with my parents in the Cities as an adult, I can only image what it was like for them to try and navigate Minneapolis then. Once we'd found parking, we would eat our sandwiches and carrot sticks and take a drink from the jug full of lemonade and head inside for an early afternoon game. It didn't matter if we had nosebleed seats...it was just cool that we got to see our favorite players in action, including Kirby.
Another summer, my family didn't go to the dome, but my mom thought it would be a special treat to take me up with her on a local fan bus. As a kid, this was pretty cool because it would be just my mom and I, going to watch a baseball game. While there, we got a pop and it came in...gasp!...a plastic Kirby Puckett cup! That was the coolest thing. Cups like that are probably a dime a dozen, but we kept that cup around our house for a long time because it had Kirby on it.
Baseball was never the same for me after the players' strike in the mid-90s. I think my rebellious little self determined that if baseball players were too selfish to play, they weren't going to get my patronage when they got over themselves. I haven't been to a Twins game in ages...perhaps even since I was in 6th grade. But I've resolved to follow them this year and will do my very best to make it to at least one game at the Dome (hopefully more).
(On a side note, in our kitchen, there is a flip book of Kirby's 1991 game six-winning homer that I think is another coolest thing and I've taken to flipping through occassionally. One of my roommates saw it for the first time this weekend and thought it was weird. Now I want to keep it.)

weekend wrap up

Hey Friends~

Quite the crazy weekend. I thought about saying something about the Oscars, but nothing really exciting happened, save Crash's sneaker Best Picture over Brokeback Mountain, but everyone's already talked about that and everything else that happened last night; I might as well do something a little different.
It was a delicious weekend in that I've got a new prospect...I've not had a new one is SO LONG, it's nice to have someone to be interested in/dream about. I am such a dork, but it's the truth! He's one of my housemates' brother. While I'd met him before, we'd never really talked or anything. Saturday night, my housemate had a belated graduation party and he came to support her and DJ and we had some really good conversation. He graduated with a journalism degree, too, but ended up working in the tech field. We talked about our respective j-schools and publications we've worked for and such. He's got a great indie look to him...just unkempt enough to look cute without being dirty. And he's really friendly. Geez...I can already tell this is going nowhere good for me. Anyway, my roommate had sort of asked if I was interested in him/hinted I should get with him before Saturday. I never know what to say to that, especially since before Saturday I'd probably spoken two words to the guy. If I say I'm interested, then I feel like I'll be nagged to do something about it. Not that I would, but if I did, then that leaves the door wide open for rejection, which I'm certain my self esteem is just not up for in this particular department. If not nagging, then what from the roommate? does she go to him and ask if he's interested? As cool as he might seem, I feel like guys like him never go for girls like me because I'm not indie enough? I only dabble. It's complicated. So I don't know what to think. At any rate, like I said, it's nice to have someone to day dream about for the time being, at least until someone else comes along.

we be clubbin'

It has been an excellent week, to say the least. It really has flown by and I love it when that happens. Last night, MaryAnne and our friend Shannon were in town, so we decided to go out to a club. My roommate Liz came with us. Shannon's not 21 yet...luckily it was Thursday, so there were alot of places that had 18+. MaryAnne and I opted for Spin because we've been there a couple times before and have really enjoyed ourselves...it's a good crowd, good music and lots of space (although probably not so much after 11, but hey, the more, the merrier). The thing about 18+ nights is that all the kiddies come out because they only can like one night a week and of course, they want to get their dance on, so it's always like 50 times more crowded than usual. But the great thing is that it's still a good time. So, since it was a Thursday night and MA and I had to work today, we opted to arrive early (9:30ish) and leave early (around midnight). A good decision. When we got there, there was no line whatsoever and almost no one inside. The dance floor was completely empty, so we took it over, dancing our dorky dances and watching Shannon's sprinkler dance. It was so weird but cool...I totally wished I had had a camera on me to take some pictures. Pause to check out the sweet bathrooms and grab a drink. We sat down and people watched for a bit...no one danced for the longest time, but more and more people were coming in and just standing around the edges, talking and whatnot. Very weird. And then they put "Jenny from the Block" on and finally a bunch of people decide to dive in. I made the mistake of ordering a ($7!!!!!) Sex on the Beach...it was really good, but so big I was impatient to finish it so I could join everyone on the dance floor. Luckily, Liz volunteered to watch it and I joined the others, but after a song or two, I grabbed my drink and made Liz join us. They played alot of good songs. One of the great things about Spin is that even if they're playing a song you don't know, you can still shake your booty to it. When is started to get crowded, we went upstairs to observe the crowd (hot black guys at the foot of the stairs!)...at that point it was getting packed. Jon would've been proud that Liz ordered a beer. The beats were just so good we had to go back to the dancefloor where we tried to make a little space for ourselves near one of the railings. Oh, the things one can see at a dance club. Let me just say there were an excessive amount of horny people there last night. It was getting really crazy and it was only midnight...a clear sign it really was time for us to go, so we did. I love Spin, but I love it even better on 21+ nights because there's actually space to move around and dance and the guys tend to be a little bit more civil? cultured? something... I hadn't been since a month or so before my accident, so this was a nice return, but I hope we can go back some time soon. Not enough of my friends like to go dancing, but I'll take what I can get.
On tap for this weekend: Gopher hockey game with Jenny tonight (I'm excited...this will be only my second hockey game ever!), lamenting how I need groceries but have no money, Jen's belated graduation party Saturday night(I hope it's fun...Dave is going to DJ, but it depends on how many people show up), Oscars Sunday night. Should be interesting. Cheers!

grrr...; the Rosary

I don't think I can post from home any more. Whenever I do, for some reason it keeps getting filed under February 21 and so is never the top post. I was so confused by this the first time that I ended up deleting a post, which mad me sad. Very frustrating stuff. However, I'd like to not post at work, so perhaps I'll have to do some tinkering around and try and figure out what the deal is.

On a different note, today is Ash Wednesday. Being Catholic, this means mass tonight. Lent has never been my favorite liturgical season...I don't really know why...I just haven't really ever gotten into it. Nevertheless, while I'd heard it before, one of my roommates mentioned giving up/doing something for yourself, something for someone else and something for God, so I decided that this Lent, I will be giving up ice cream (which I don't eat too often, but use it as a reward for myself and I should get away from that), giving $5 to the church every Sunday (which really isn't very much, but considering that I've given like nothing over the past five years, I think it's a step in the right direction) and I will pray the Rosary every Saturday. I've never been much of a Rosary prayer...my family said it sometimes when I was younger, but it seemed to go on for so long I was always angry we had to do it. I didn't even know the order to say it or the prayers, other than the Hail Mary and Our Father. The Christmas before last, I asked for and received one of those little booklets that has all the mysteries in it and the prayers and such. I didn't use it though, until the most recent Christmas. After messing up my right foot in a car accident (more on that another time, perhaps) three months earlier and staying with my parents the whole time because I couldn't drive, I desperately wanted to be healed again. I had a doctor's appointment coming up at the beginning of January and I figured, why not try the Rosary and see what happens. If nothing else, it will at least get me some good prayer time with God, right? In meditating on the mysteries, my prayer request turned from healing into just being okay with myself and my place in the world. I knew I would get better eventually, but if I couldn't accept my station in life for the moment, I would never be happy. I decided to do a novena, which is saying the Rosary once a day for nine days, always praying for the same thing. I have to say, I felt quite at peace by the end of the nine days. And a couple of days later, when I had my appointment, low and behold, the doctor said I could drive again!!! Really, what an amazing answer to prayer. Like any relationship, I have to keep working on mine with God and I think this might be a good opportunity to do that more consciously.