to go with the plan or not go with the plan, that is the question...

I'm beginning to chicken out, at least for the first part of the plan. After doing some calculations, I've found that I should have about $200 to use at my discretion every month (that's after taking out all possible regular expenses: rent, bills, groceries, gas, etc..., but no savings because I haven't been since I started in the real world.) I should be saving half of it. I don't think my brain quite gets savings...I'm saving for the future, not just for a rainy day. Really, $100 ought to do me for a month, you would think and I'm hoping I'll be more conscious of how much discretionary money I'm spending in the future. I'm sort of mad at myself for chickening out about the plan. I could use the money, but it turns out I'm not doomed without it, which totally weakens my resolve. Perhaps if I don't get one at 90 days, I will venture the subject. Too bad I can't see my boss right away at one of those times when I'm just so angry about only getting such and so per hour. Okay, so maybe thinking about some aspects of it are raising my ire again. It might be worth it to just go and talk to Matt about it casually and see what he has to say. In a preliminary search yesterday, it appears bartending or something in that vein, would be my best option for a second/weekend job. It could be interesting, but I'm not necessarily sure it's something that would fit me. Then again, you never know unless you try. Man, I wish I weren't such a lazy butt! I wish there was something out there that would really drive me to go for the raise or the second job. Alas, I have no motivation or will power as such...it's the same reason I will never be anorexic. At the same time, if someone presented me with a weekend job opportunity that wasn't stressful and was relatively laid back, I think I could be all over it. Who knows, perhaps if I look hard enough, I might find something that fits perfectly.