I don't want to grow up...

Sigh...it's been sort of an odd weekend and beginning of the week. I've spent alot of time in my head. What tipped it off, for the most part, was going to a bridal shower Saturday. I knew the groom before the bride, so I don't know her as well. MA was the only other person I knew there, the rest were all her and his friends. They were really nice and friendly, but the youngest one was like 25 (granted, that's only 2 years older than me) and they were ALL married and half of them either had a child under one year or were expecting. I love babies and expectant mothers and all that, but this was sort of overwhelming for me. I've never been around that many young married women before, I don't think. Just being around all that brings out a huge jealousy complex in me and makes me think how far I am from that. And I DON'T want to feel that way. I hate that society makes me feel that I'm behind becasue I've never been in a serious relationship and don't have any prospects on the horizon. Because, on alot of levels, I'm completely happy with where I'm at in life and have no desire to change my status. I enjoy having the freedom to go and do whatever I want whenever I want and not having to schedule around a boyfriend or be caught up in his interests or trying to brainstorm excursions or anything like that. Of course, I want to be in a relationship at some point...I just don't want to feel less (or maybe that I'm missing out) because I'm not. My friends don't say anything to make me feel that way; and I'm sure they don't do anything consciously to make me feel that way, but the little things add up. Add that to society's standards and it stinks. As I get older and more and more of the people I'm around are in relationships and planning weddings and things, it gets harder. I want that part of being a "grown up." Let's go back to the way things used to be.