I suck at life
Okay, so I don't actually suck at life. After all, my heart beats and I'm breathing in and out and all that. Basically, I feel like a big ball of confusion; like no part of me is "settled" or not up in the air. I feel discontent. But why should I feel discontent? And furthermore, what am I supposed to do about it? The thing is, there's not anything that's expressly wrong in my life. I don't have anything to be particularly unsettled about: I have amazing and supportive roommates and friends. My family loves me and I love them. I'm semi-financially stable and I have a job that helps me stay that way, working with people who are nice and doing something I'm good at. I have lots of music and movies and books and clothes. And although I'm single, I don't particularly mind being so. It seems I shouldn't be wanting, but I am.
I don't know if I'm being hormonal, or if I've just not gotten enough sleep for too many nights in a row or if I'm caught up in my frustration with myself over my procrastination problems or if there's something actually wrong. I'm thankful for the weekend both because it gives me a reprieve from work and allows me to flesh out some of my thoughts. When I'm always going and/or there's always noise (radio/tv/whathaveyou), I can't think properly.
I went out to coffee with a friend from college last week and we were talking about traveling and somehow the Peace Corps came up and I suddenly felt convicted that it was something I could and should do. I haven't looked into it at all yet, but I know I really, really would like to do something like that. In contemplating the future, lots of life questions come up and it's so clear that I have yet to answer them....like, would I prefer to live in the country or the city? And depending on the answer, there are billions more questions to answer, sort of like one of those diagnostic chart thingys. So I think joining some kind of service organization for a year or two would really help me clear out my head and figure out not what I'm good at, but what I ENJOY doing and truly feel comfortable and happy with.
I don't know if I'm being hormonal, or if I've just not gotten enough sleep for too many nights in a row or if I'm caught up in my frustration with myself over my procrastination problems or if there's something actually wrong. I'm thankful for the weekend both because it gives me a reprieve from work and allows me to flesh out some of my thoughts. When I'm always going and/or there's always noise (radio/tv/whathaveyou), I can't think properly.
I went out to coffee with a friend from college last week and we were talking about traveling and somehow the Peace Corps came up and I suddenly felt convicted that it was something I could and should do. I haven't looked into it at all yet, but I know I really, really would like to do something like that. In contemplating the future, lots of life questions come up and it's so clear that I have yet to answer them....like, would I prefer to live in the country or the city? And depending on the answer, there are billions more questions to answer, sort of like one of those diagnostic chart thingys. So I think joining some kind of service organization for a year or two would really help me clear out my head and figure out not what I'm good at, but what I ENJOY doing and truly feel comfortable and happy with.
posted by basily22 @ 6:22 PM
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